Discernment

I am finding that my ability to understand and proceed with the next step is a bit clouded. It can all be rather tricky. While I desire to walk in the Lord's will, I am also very human...by this I simply mean that my own agenda in the decisions about life will be present in the decision process. So how does one master the ability to to be quiet and still enough to to hear the Lord's whisper of how to move forward?

This past week was busy with being on duty. Nothing major going on, just lots of silly business. For the first time in a very loooong time I had nothing to do on Saturday, which was nice. I could have been productive, I wanted to be productive, but instead I slept and watched movies! I really loved it. Anyway...this week wll be a bit different. On Thursday night I am going to the retreat house that houses missionaries and allows them to get away for a bit. It is in the city, so that is nice. I will go from Thursday night until Saturday morning. The plan is to bike there, it is just over 10 miles, so that should be good for me. I really want to take up more bike riding.

Prayer request:

• That I would practice the discipline of listening
• For wisdom and discernment
• Taking the time for some rest

Change...

As it is life never goes as one expects it, right? How long does it take to learn this lesson? I imagine forever. Obviously we cannot choose how thing go, but we can choose the attitude we have in it. While I strive to be someone who chooses a spirit of joy through trials, I can say that is not always the case. What a human I am!

Anyway. For awhile I thought I was headed out of the country this summer to serve a family that has a son with special needs. After some closed doors and some prayer, I feel that I am no longer headed in that direction. I still feel that I am to leave my job and find something that will allow me to pay off my student loans...this seems almost like a scary step than the one to leave the country! In this time I want to work on fine tuning my walk and commitment to the Lord. I want to know that when trials come I will allow my faith to be stronger than my humanness. Changes will come, but I want to know that I a committed believer, committed to this journey and adventure in life, committed to choosing a spirit of joy.